The Soap Box: Advice from a wrestler to fans

Soap Box creepersWe’ve received another submission from Becky for our public forum which we call The Soap Box, and former wrestler Becky James is back with some advice for fans so they don’t get too over-familiar with wrestlers.

The views posted in The Soap Box do not necessarily represent or are shared by Ringbelles…

I have heard many times that performers, including wrestlers, are damaged souls. Something happened in our childhoods that made us crave the attention, the spotlight and the praise from fans. Fans are what keep us going. If they love us they are our Cocaine that we just Scarface ourselves with over social networks. If they think we are terrible, we curl up into a tiny ball in the corner of our rooms, crying uncontrollably as to why this practically unknown person to us did not like that drop kick we did on our last show.

There are fans however, that cross that invisible line. The line that invades all those personal or emotional space rules that we build as human beings. Of course we expect this to an extent, but there seems to really need to be some clarifying rules for some (not the majority) of people who have taken an interest in us as entertainers. I personally cringe and call them, ‘fanboys/girls’. To help you in particular who say… try to smell a wrestlers hair as they go past you on their entrance, please try to from this day forth, follow the guidelines below:

1. Trying to add yourself to any personal account on the internet.

When a wrestler has a wrestler page, a website and a twitter for you to follow… why on Earth do you think we are going to add you to our personal account? Can we not have ANY realm to be ourselves with people we actually known on a personal level? Apparently not. Apparently then the next best thing to do is to subscribe to us on facebook so you can try to see what we write and respond to us on said personal account even though we haven’t added you, haven’t wanted to know you and really very, very much do NOT want your opinion on what we had for breakfast that day. You are a fan, not a friend. Respect that.

2. Sending pictures of parts of your body/Trying to impose your fetishes on us.

STOP THAT. JUST STOP. Granted, I am sure some of the boys are loving a good ol’ fashioned boob picture, but generally female wrestlers can collectively tell you we are NOT INTERESTED IN A PICTURE OF YOUR JUNK. Is that what you do in normal life? Wake up, have breakfast, brush teeth, knock on your attractive neighbours’ door and flash your bits? There are laws about public displays of such nature, and guess what? It applies to private messages as well. The amount of new females who are innocent to the ways of the fanboys have come to me in a panic because some weirdo has asked her how much it would be to be pinned down by her is staggering. It is not endearing, or arousing.

We also laugh at you. Just so you’re aware. Nothing more. Though I do have a pair of boots for sale, if you’re into that. No? That’s cool. Ahem.

3. Creating some random website dedicated to female wrestling, just to get in with female wrestlers.

This is practically the most common thing I have dealt with, and this is why generally I have only ever dealt specifically with Ringbelles unless REALLY asked a lot by a promoter that I have trusted and known for a long time. I’ll be asked for an interview, or pictures to go along with an article, or some nonsense, which is effectively just a cover for some ‘fan boy’ to try and get close and personal with as many females as he can. You see, in his head he can claim it’s still ‘innocent’. It’s not, because we both know if one of the girls happened to throw you a bone, you’d snap that bitch up in your jaws of dirtiness and go to town. The article/interview you took will end up as something you sleep with next to your pillow. You live a lie. Stick to being purely a fan, and leave it to people who actually care to conduct this kind of work.

Bad text4. Attempting to pretend our other half does not exist.

When I asked my partner as to what personally irritates him the most about fanboys having been a part of my life, he instantly said, ‘Just the total disregard for the fact I exist.’ He deals with this even now weekly. Some random fanboy will contact me flirtatiously, fully aware I am not only taken, but the mother of my partners’ child and fully committed. Or even worse, DOESN’T ignore his existence purely to make a demeaning remark about him specifically as if it will just make me instantly drop my family life and run away with said fanboy upon a white steed into the hillsides. Yes, we are to appear alluring and of course giving us a compliment doesn’t hurt. There is however a limit… and telling me you would like to hang out with me sometime without my partner knowing, is that you guessed it, crossing of the invisible line.

So there you have it. Four simple guidelines to keeping a lovely respectful distance. I’m not asking for you to not make us signs, fan art, say hello and have a photo that you proudly show us another time for us to smile. When you tell us we are even better than the last time you saw us perform, our little lives are made. All I ask is that you find that place between staring at us from afar, too scared to come over in case we hurt you, and asking for a pair of our dirty underwear. Thanks so much.

The Soap Box is a forum for anyone to voice their opinion on any aspect on women’s wrestling. Fancy writing something on your chosen subject? Go for it!

Of course, there are rules for Soap Box submissions. So if you’re itching to make a contribution, bear these things in mind:

• Submissions should be between 500 and 1,000 words. We’re looking for reasoned, thought out opinions.
• Nothing libellous. We’re trained in law here at Ringbelles, and won’t be posting anything which could provoke legal recourse against ourselves or the writer.
• Submitting a contribution to us does not guarantee that we will post it.
• We reserve the right to edit submissions for grammar/repetition and the like – though we promise to not take posts out of context.

Still keen on standing on our Soap Box? Send us an email – or if you want to react to what was written above, feel free to do so in the comments section below.


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